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| real quick.
KEFKA.
SOUNDS
AWESOME.
the end.
lol @ "I see a poser"
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| I started to write some blogger-like sounding, the world now shit.
Then I realized, that I don't really care and that there's no point.
I have my ideals, my opinions.
I rather keep it to myself.
Yep.
Lately I'm worried if I'm putting in the same track as before, the routines and such.
I'm always thinking about how I can fix my problems, since I can figure out where and how things went sorta wrong. With the events I encountered in my past. So to best to prevent them is to not do them, not be the cause of bs.
Works out pretty well actually.
Hadn't hit any problems, and I'm happier then ever.
If I hit an unpleasant mood, I usually fix myself up in matter of few minutes or over night.
Then again I think that's part of my abilities. Ultimately be happy in general.
I hate to make this a moochy note, but I really must say.
I'm so happy that I met Will, well again.
Being with Will has brought me closer to Mikey, brought me back to Torrance more.
I drifted away a bit, and I was afraid that I'd be replaced or dimissed.
Now I think I'm right where I want to be.
I don't know what's going to happen, but I can pin point the what ifs.
The major one I see is Will's debt. It's only like an grand or so, but I know that they;ll charge him interest over uncommunicated misunderstandings.
The other is wanting different things, either on my end or his. Big life-changing decisions.
My worse fear is one of us, suddenly waking up from the spell.
It happened before with him.
The sudden good bye.
He told me how he felt bad about it, when we were talking about "back then".
He was talking how that was the last time he saw me cry.
Instantly remembering how painful that change was made me tear up.
It was painful, my chest felt like it caved in.
I'm always scared, because I know he has the potential ability to hurt me deeply.
But over all that, I trust him that he cares for me.
I know he's not that kind of guy, and I'm not a naive girl.
This time is different, we're grown up.
How he looks, talks towards me isn't much different from 8 years ago.
I do believe him when he blerts out I love you.
I love him too.
I think I'm ready, and I think I've learned some few lessons.
Perhaps, this is something I can really enjoy.
I really hope it is.
Atleast I know this time, that the feelings are mutual.
I know he thinks about us, I just don't know how much.
I'm fine where I am though, fine and dandy where I am.
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| I'm probably the lamest push over there is.
Not to make this sound depressing, but honestly I felt a bit sad on my birthday.
All I wanted was to be with friends. I didn't care if there were a party or drinks.
I just wanted to spend some time with friends. My friends that I haven't really had a chance to spend time with.
Turns out I'm just out of luck with people's schedules.
My birthday falls on a Thursday.
Of course people have school, other plans, work, etc.
I'll understand, cause that's the kind of friend I am.
Maybe I have too many friends living different schedules.
I don't know, perhaps I haven't tried hard enough to keep in touch with my friends.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm put in a situation just cause they know I won't be sour at them.
Am I just a convenient friend?
I don't want to think that way. I don't believe that.
In contrast, I did have a good birthday.
Two of my important people were there to celebrate with me.
I know I am loved, and it's good to know on your birthday
Plus it's only one day, I have 364 other days that I can enjoy just as much.
And they'll be there as well.
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| Fucking gamestop.
I remember my co-worker having troubles with her taxes last year.
She quit when she went back to school, and her W2 never came.
Turns out a notice went to all the stores saying former employees won't recieve their W2 by mail.
Of course they don't let the formal employee know, they let the store know.
In some cases what if the former employee doesn't/can't contact their store?
Then what? Isn't it fucked up?
Now it's doing the same thing to me.
Plus people are lying, and being the most unhelpful whelps as they can be.
Man, old people sucks.
Fuck gamestop!
I like my new life wayy better, it involves fun, rock and shitdamn coolness.
No bullshit, no drama, no stress.
This ain't no game bitch!
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